Quotatiously quotable kids


Photobucket



My 8-year-old son was wearing his hat backwards when we got to the gym and the lady at the desk said hello to him. Instead of saying hello back, he touched his hat self-consciously and said "Don't worry, I'm not a gangster." March '11

***
I didn't realize Greyson was in the bathroom and I was yelling at him to come and eat breakfast. Finally he stomps out and says, "Can't a man even go potty around here?!" 

***
Today I took the little boys to the mall with me. We only had one mildly embarrassing episode where Rowan grabbed a pair of red panties, still on the hanger, and said "Oh, this is cute." (April '11)

***

Mom, when I grow up, I'm going to have a pretty dangerous job.... I'm going to be a tornado survival guide. (Grey, Jan '11)

***
QOTD 3/3/11 (Greyson): Mom, sometimes it's a little uncomfortable, but I sleep with a shoe so I have something to throw at a bad guy.

***
Greyson: Oh Mom, I am soooo sorry.

Me: For what?

Grey: I forgot to make your birthday card and get you flowers! (hangs head and begins to fake cry)

Me: Grey, my birthday is next week. You didn't miss it.

Grey (perking up): Oh! Well, can you forget you heard any of this?

***

Me: Grey, if you want to see a flying car, then maybe you need to study hard in school and someday you can build one.

Grey: Well, when I grow up I'm going to work at Target, because at Target you make a WHOLE LOT of money."

***
Greyson just came in and announced "I'm watching the baby's every move and you're going to pay me 35 cents." I don't think now is a good time to tell him about minimum wage, that's a pretty good deal for me. Summer 2010

***
"I'm the hungriest boy, Haydn is the dramaticist boy, and Rowan is the annoyingist boy." Grey summer 2010

***
Me: Grey, can you give Brecken a cracker?
Grey: Sure…. I gave him a sharp one, because he's so small he sort of looks like a nail.

***
Haydn leaving a message at a friend's house: "Hi, this is Haydn. I was wondering if you wanted to come over and play… but we have to watch out for Rowan because he has THE pink eye." July 2010

***
Grey: Mom, I know important stuff that the boys at school don't know.
Me: Well, are you going to teach them?
Grey: yep, the first lesson starts tomorrow. I'm gonna show them how to jump up and spin in a circle in the air, and how to jump off a tower and roll so they don't get hurt." Fall 2010

***
Grey: Mom, I can't find any pants.
Me: Did you check on your floor?
Grey (agitated and waving his arms): I can't tell which ones are mine-- I don't have super measuring powers!!
***
Whenever I walk around the corner and Rowan freezes and says "ummmmmm can you go away?" That's a pretty good indication that I need to stick around.

****
Greyson: Mom, quick, what's the opposite of teleporting?
Me: I don't know, Grey, what?
Greyson: I don't know! That's why I'm asking!

*****
Me: Rowan, look at the rain, what are we gonna do?
Rowan (age 2): I has idea. I stop da rain. I stop it wick supah man.
***
"Mom, I was playing Sonic in my head and I beat the whole game! It was pretty hard though… and took a hundred years." Greyson

***
"Mom, I was talking to the storm, because I speak storm, and I asked it if it could please go away. It's a pretty smart storm, because it said it need to stick around because the plants need a drink." Greyson Summer 2010

****
Greyson randomly announced in a very serious voice, "You know, putting your whole self in and shaking it all about, THAT is what the hokey pokey is about." Spring 2010

****
Tonight Greyson's bedtime prayer went like this:
"Lord God, I just pray that you would put two of your best angels on guard duty at our house. And if there are any bad guys with their eye on us, please let your angels sprinkle a little fairy dust on them and erase their memories, but not kill them. Amen." (Grey,age6)
****

Mom, if something wanted to eat you, I'd let it eat me instead. I really love you. (Grey 11/2010)

***

Greyson: Mom, do you promise you won't eat glass? It might poke in your tummy or get stuck in your throat.

Me: I promise, Grey.

****

Me: Grey, God has given you a great brain and amazing talents. If you work hard you can do anything you want.

Greyson: Like shoot lasers out my eyes?


*****

Me: Wow, my mouth is on fire.
Rowan (3): Oooooh, can I feel it?

***
Me: I'm so tired, I just want to sit down and not move.
Greyson (5): Yeah, but you have chores to do.... lots of chores.
(Sep 2010)

***
Greyson: Mom, I'm the kid that knows Spanish. Watch this "Hula-Hula!" Know what means? That's snake in Spanish.

***
Haydn was making sandwiches and says "this is gonna be a good one Grey, you are lucky." and Grey says "My brain told me today was gonna be a lucky day!"
***

We loaded up the boys in the car and then I ran back in to get something. When I came back grey says "Breckie was crying but I speak baby, and he said 'Is anybody there?'"

***
Rowan walked by nakie so I poked his tummy and said "Hey, what's that?" And he says "My Welly Wutton." Aug 2010

***

My kids waited in the car with Jarrod while I ran into the store. When I got back Grey says "I saw you coming and knew it was you cuz I recognized your purse, Mama." July 2010

***
Today Haydn was asking me a question about our wedding, and I told him (somewhat hopefully) that I had a video of it if he wanted to see it. He wrinkled his nose and shook his head and said "Naaaaah" and Greyson pipes in with "Yeah, I already know how that one ends." July 2010

***
While we were driving I realized that I had misplaced my drivers license. Haydn panics and says "pull over mom, what if a cop sees you! It's against the ten commandments to drive without a drivers license!" July 2010
***
I just made the mistake of trying to take grey in the ladies room. He saw some girls in there and abruptly announced "is this the boys!? I'm going out." guess he's a big boy now. I really embarrassed him.
***
It's Rowan's birthday and I asked him what he wanted for his birthday dinner.

"Polar bears!" he says.

"Polar bears?" I ask, and Greyson clarifies for me.

"Oh, he means Panda Express!"

***
Haydn says "Mom, you know the really cool people say 'Whateva For-EVA'" only he says it with a gangster twang, a bob of the head, and fingers held up to make a 'W'.
The funniest part is that this is something that I made up and say to Jarrod just to annoy him. HA!

******
Grey was doing something annoying, and I finally said "grey, stop before I flip out!" and he frowns and says "well, that's kind of weird mom. I don't really understand the flip part." and Haydn says "oh that means she's gonna go crazy and start bouncing off the walls."

***

Rowan was going potty, number one, and I was praising him. I then asked if he could please try and go number two. He shook his head and said "Nope, I go pee pee. That's all I'm offering." June 2010

*** *** ***
Haydn: Mom, if you are blind, how do you read signs while you are driving?
Me: Haydn, you can't drive if you're blind.
Haydn. Then how do you get to the eye doctor?

*** *** ***
I was tucking Rowan in last night (he's two) and I asked him what he was goig to dream about. He says "ohhh toilets, and spiders, and gum and candy. Dats all I need." Okay then. May 2010

*** *** ***

Grey just came in and asked for a pen cuz "a spider died and we're makin' a RIP."

*** *** ***
I saw a lady pushing what looked like a very small stroller today. It was a small bright red box on wheels. Yeah, her cat was in it.

*** *** ***

Haydns been walking around like a gangster saying "stup!" I finally asked him about it. He was like "oh! I just heard it stands for 'what's up'" I didn't want to tell him it's really "s'up" because stup is funnier.

*** *** ***

We were driving in the car and that tacky Adam Lambert song came on where he’s singing in a really depressing voice “What do you want from me? What do you want from me?” and Greyson pipes up from the backseat, “I’ll tell you what I want from you-- CANDY.”

*** *** ***

Grey informed me today that when he grows up he's doing obstacle courses for a living. He called it an obstacle-coursist. Seriously.

*** *** ***

Grey had "recycling" week at preschool and says "mom, today we learned about the glitterbugs. They're people who leave glitter all over the world."
*******

Greyson: mom, it would be rude if I said "apples don't cut themselves, chop chop" right? Yeah I thought so.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...