'Fess Up Friday~ Flying Cars and Blender Envy

Okay, okay, I admit it~ I'm a flake! I'm totally late to my own party.  Again. 


Although to be fair, I'm on Pacific Standard Time and all you other people get up way too early. 


It's only 7:30 a.m. here. 


Me being late has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I've fallen into a couple of good books over the last couple weeks and have been staying up way too late reading.


No, it definitely has nothing to do with that. 





I met a new neighbor this week. 
It's pretty unusual for me to get a knock on the door in the middle of the day, especially when it's not Kirby Vacuum season, so I was not prepared.
I first had to move 25 shoes from behind the door just so I could open it, and when I did there was a nice lady on my porch holding out what appeared to be a plastic bag. 
I cautiously took it as she said,
"You have a bunch of little boys right?"
And I started to get nervous. 
"They left these socks in my yard the other day when they were catching grasshoppers."
Wait.
What?
"My kids were in your yard?"
"Oh yes, I looked out and saw all these little blonde heads bopping around on my grass. They come down a lot. It's no problem, I just thought you would want their socks back."
I'm still trying to process the fact that I have no idea when my kids escaped my vigilant supervision long enough to run down the street and become grasshopper vandals, let alone take the time to strip down to bare feet and get comfortable. 
And so it begins.....I've been making a lot of zucchini bread lately and it is delicious.
Rowan loves it the most, and calls it Kini Bread.
Or sometimes, 'BA-kini bread"
And I do not correct him, because that is funny.
....

My two-year-old is torturing me. 

He vacillates between belligerence and effusive love.

When he gets mad at me, he looks for the nearest chair, stool, or high chair and pushes it over. Kaboom!

If I taught him to yell "TIMBER!" it might even be funny. 

Right now, it's just... torture. 

The other day he tried to lift up the coffee table so he could throw it like the Incredible Hulk. I kid you not. Luckily for me he couldn't lift it more than a couple inches. 

I am trying to remember that this is a season, a short season, and he will never again be as little as he is right this moment. 

But every time he chucks a car at me, I just wind up saying,

"B, please, you're torturing me."

No joke, just as I was writing that, one flew by my head.

And that is why I usually blog at night.....
I have a bad case of blender envy. 

I've been stalking Costco's website, waiting for them to announce when the next Vitamix demo was coming to town, for the last three or four months.
And then the other night I found out it's going to be here in two weeks.
And I forgot that we do not have any money.
I forgot that we are trying to pay off our debt before winter so we can be responsible little squirrels, blah blah blah.
I had the American Express website open and I was filling out an online application before I knew what I was doing.
And I got down to the last line, where I just had to enter my Costco membership number, and I got the first pangs of conscience. 
So I ran back and said to Jarrod like Speedy Gonzalez,
"HeyCostcoisbringingvitamixtotowninaweek, you know, thevitamixthatIwantmorethananything, so, if it's okay with you,
I'm just going to sign up for an American Express card real quick and buy this one thing but then we'll pay it off and I'll cancel the account, I swear."
And he said....


"Dream on, sister." 
So, I threw a matchbox car at him and pushed over a couple stools and a highchair and pouted for the rest of the night.
But the next day, when my Blender Envy Haze had faded a bit, I realized he's a lot smarter than me and I was again grateful that he's here to be my rudder. 
Okay, grateful might be too strong a word... 
I was relieved that he is here to be my rudder, because we all remember the incident with the electronic pressure cooker and QVC right? No? Oh, well remind me to tell you about it some time.
I would still very much like a Vitamix blender, though. 
Vitamix, can you here me? 
If you send me one, I will write a review that will blow your mind. ....

For the record, I didn't really push over stools or throw a matchbox car at Jarrod's head. 
I did think it though.