Tuesday, March 22, 2011

To Whom It May Concern

Dear Little Ceasar's Pizza,
   
I am writing to kindly request that you raise your prices. When I drive by your store and I see that "Hot, Fresh, Ready To Eat" sign, and then I remember I have a conveniently stashed coupon good for a large pizza for $3.99, I just can't resist. That hot cheesy goodness is making me fat. Please stop tempting me with your cheap deliciousness. 

Sincerely,

Pizza-Pizza Lover



Dear Pediatrician,

Is it normal for a toddler to say "no" when he really means yes, every single time? And is it also normal for a toddler to say "owie" when he is mad, annoyed, or hungry? Sometimes he says it when he's actually hurt, but we don't take him seriously anymore. Another thing-- should I be concerned about brain damage when he gets mad and turns into a big puddle of toddler goo and flops around on the floor like a beached fish? His head seems to take a lot of abuse when he doesn't get his way. 

Sincerely,

Mother of Mini Person with Attitude


Dear Spring,

I don't know if anyone has ever told you this before, but you're a bit of a tease. Flirting with us by sending sunshine and then giving us the cold shoulder with a bunch of snow the next day. That's no way to build a relationship. Let's try again tomorrow, k? 

Sincerely, 

Cabin-Fevered in Idaho


Dear Houseplants,

Please stop being so dramatic and just send me a text when you need water. All this moping around, threatening to die is getting you no where.

Sincerely, 

Mrs. Blackthumb 



11 comments:

  1. Oh, Kira, you are always good for a laugh. :) I pretty much know every time I come on here, I will snicker, or snort, or giggle uncontrollably,and today certainly did not disappoint. :D

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  2. Hysterical, Kira! I absolutely could have written that letter to the pediatrician today. My little guy's vocabulary has somehow whittled down to just one word - NO! - and it has to be said very emphatically while headbutting something really hard. Boys!

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  3. Awsome post !! What blog platform do you use on your www ?

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  4. Cassi~ thank you, that's good to hear :)

    Sam~ Seriously, right? The headbutting has begun over here too and he's already making fake burping noises and then laughing hysterically. Having three older brothers is teaching him the ropes way too fast!

    Heidi~ right back atcha, sista!

    And to answer that last question, I'm on blogger.

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  5. love it sis!!! I too was once a blackthumb...now I have one plant that I have managed to keep alive and protected from abuse. Yay! My children have not outgrown having tantrums, however....major bummer.

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  6. Too funny!!! That whole "toddler goo" bit, too much! :)

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Yet another great post that we can all relate to!

    I look forward to your posts, because they always bring a smile to my face.

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I adore reading your comments; they bring sunshine to my day. Thanks for reading!

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