Sundays are bittersweet for me lately. We look forward to them all week and Saturdays feel longer than they used to be. I am so relieved for J to be home and helping me that even though we're exhausted, I can't sleep past 6. He can’t either but he tries to fake it because its the only opportunity he has to rest. And even though we’re tired and would like to just simply sit with a cup of coffee and enjoy being together, there is always a list a mile long of projects that need to get done. Things I can’t do myself and I’ve been waiting for him to help me with. But there is only this brief window of time once each week when he is here. How do you spend it? How do you decide what is the most important thing? How do you know which projects can wait another week, and what do you do if none of them can?
I have these two pots on the back porch that Jarrod filled up with premium potting soil and had all ready for flowers. My kids have turned them into sandboxes because they have no other dirt to play in. One of the projects we’ve been hoping to do for the last month is build a sandbox. So poor, tired Jarrod is in the backyard on his one day off. And after he gets the nine plants he brought home in the ground, he might get around to Lowe’s to buy the stuff for a sandbox. We also need to stain the fence. And get the patio furniture out. And fix the BBQ. And I have to clean the house. And do some laundry. And go to the grocery store. I’d really like to just take a nap.
So Sundays are bittersweet. The sweet is when I look outside and see my husband there. It’s when the boys fight and he is there to intervene and they actually respond to what he’s saying. It’s when he carries something heavy for me and waters my plants. It’s when I can run a quick errand without dragging four kids in and out of the car, or write a blog entry that’s been nagging me all week. The bitter comes when I remember that we’ve only got a half day left, and then the week starts all over again. And he will be busy and frazzled, and I will be alone with whatever didn’t get done on Sunday.
At least he’s not in Afghanistan. At least he has a steady job. I really have so much to be thankful for, and I’m working on it. I just find it ironic that I miss him most when he's right outside.