Wednesday, February 3, 2010

To Whom It May Concern

Dear Body:
     You and I have been through a lot together. Snowboarding, elephant rides, diving after volleyballs, swimming in the summer sun...Remember that time we grew four babies in seven years? And that one time I forgot to use lotion for a whole pregnancy and I permanently disfigured your belly button? Yeah, my bad. So seeing as we have all this history together, I don't think it would be too much to ask for you to pay a little attention here. See, I've been exercising like a crazy fiend for four weeks now. Six days a week, sometimes twice a day. That's my end of the bargain-- your end of the bargain is to access those juicy love handles and make them MELT. One lousy pound is just not gonna cut it here. In return, I will continue to give you a reasonable amount of calories and good healthy whole foods. Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

Sincerely,
    Master Mind


Dear Ladies of Monday Night Zumba,
      I've never thought I would like group fitness. I'm a home video kind of girl. But on Monday night when I looked around and saw thirty women, all different shapes, sizes, and ages, going through the same silly dance routine and looking like fools, it really made me happy. You guys are an inspiration. It doesn't matter if you look cool while you Zumba, just move for an hour and do something good for your body. It made me really happy to be in such good company. I felt inspired. So thanks for that.

Sincerely,
    Dorky Dancer in the Third Row

Dear Police Man,
    When I drove by this morning and saw those flashing lights, my first thought was "Somebody got busted!" and then I realized that you were out of your car pushing a disabled vehicle off the road by yourself. And then a little old man opened the driver side door and shook your hand. And it made me proud of my local police department, and happy that I could point out to my boys "See! Police men are here to help us boys, isn't that great!"

Sincerely,
    Lady in the dented mini van

Dear Apple,
     I wanted to thank you for creating the newest and coolest technological gadget I've ever seen. I also wanted to let you know that I've been telling anyone who will stand still all about it. So if you send me an iPad as a test user, I can pretty much guarantee your sales in Coeur d'Alene will go through the roof. I'm just sayin'

Sincerely,
    Covetous yet slightly broke Mac lover in Idaho

1 comment:

  1. You make me laugh kira - love it. My body needs to listen to my master mind too.(is it really that hard to obey??) And to those Zumba girls - just let it all out....

    ReplyDelete

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